something I want someone to know

I know that I don't have much time left...I'm guessing at best six weeks. I know that at least for a few weeks now, I've been the one at fault. I'm really hoping I can just be normal to you but...for now, I still can't. I acknowledge the fact that...over 50% of the time when I see you, regardless of if I know you're behind me or in front of me, I still purposely ignore you. It's like what you have in mind, I don't want it to be like this either. It's just...it's been too long since we've both been near each other and I'm just not used to it. The previous random times we've said hi to each other and managed to carry out a brief conversation, I know after each of those times, it got extremely awkward. I know to you, it may seem like I don't want to talk to you at all still, but I do want to, and it may also seem weird because every time you say hi to me, I always respond back in a ton like as if nothing happened. I'm hoping I'll change some time soon...but if either Sharon or Sara was there you most likely know yourself that I won't go anywhere near them, not even mentioning having them in my eye sight. My bottom statement is...I'm hoping we both can go back to the way things were except altering a few details...