I sometimes hate being an Asian even though I am one...I've spent 2 days thinking about why this is and now I finally kow why.
You have to be a super smart Asian who stands out from the others to not be teased, not be insulted, and not to be judged. All of what I'm about to say right now comes from my own experience and my thoughts from what I've seen before.
being teased
I've been teased ever since middle school, because I was immature, didn't know better, always followed what other people did (I still do right now, sometimes). I didn't have that many good friends, though the real friends that I have were actually good friends to me. The people who teased me were all caucasians. I don't want to sound like I'm racist and I really do mean it when I say this becaude when I was in middle school, most of those kids used me, guided me wrong. When I thought they were just trying to be friendly with me, no, that was wrong too.
insulted
I was insulted just as much as I was being teased. Now, there were 2 other Asians in my grade as well but they were academically beyond my level, so what exactly happened to me? This was what happened. I was called names, looked down on as a nobody. I was even used as 'bait' during games, no matter if it was during P.E or actual recess time after lunch period. Just whenever they got the chance, they either teased/insulted/looked down on me. Even now, in in high school, same thing happens. Sometimes they get to a point where they piss me off a lot, or sometimes I just ignore them because their arguments prove to be worthless to argue about. For some people, this just isn't right. Now I'm not talking about the adults or anything, because I know that adults know better about what is right and what is wrong, I'm talking specifically about young adults who are either my age, just a bit older than me, or a bit younger than me, because they don't understand it yet. Now, I know I can't blame them since young adults brains don't fully develop until they are 25 (learned this from psychology class XD), but the thing is I believe they can still be given the information from their parents in an easier way. The time when most of this hits is definitely in high school, perhaps probably either sophomore year or junior year, and it may never end just depending on the area in which you live at.
liking someone
This is the most personal for me out of all of them. I liked three girls in middle school, one girl from each 6th, 7th, and 8th grade. There was one problem. They preferred hanging out with the other guys (Caucasians, again) instead of us 3 Asians. At the time, I didn't know much either, I just thought there was something wrong with me individually. But now, in high school, same thing happened. The girl that I currently like right now, both the guys that she likes hanging out with are Caucasians. One time, my best friend told the girl he is dating right now, he didn't know why he dated an Asian in the past. I never knew that he said that. Just from him saying that, and from what I've seen so far, there's so that bit of unfairness in equality in my opinion. I'm not saying that every Caucasian is racist, NO, I'm NOT saying that because right now, all of my closest friends from this school are caucasians and I'm very glad we all became friends with each other.
I'm thinking this is why Asians now from everywhere in the world are working their asses off, to get a good education, because they want to let everyone know that they are not just 'nobodies.' they are a somebody, each and every one of them. But I do agree with one quote from the movie 'the legend of Bruce lee' because it is somewhat true. When he was healing from a spinal recovery, he said 'why do the Americans insult us as being suck yellow Asian men? Isn't it all because we fight with each other, compete against each other in our own country that they laugh at us? If one day, we don't fight with each other anymore just to prove them wrong, I, Bruce lee, even if I will not be able to stand up anymore and remain in a wheelchair forever, I'll appreciate it.'
As for myself, im thinking this is why...the one thing that's effecting me most about relationships (even though it rarely happens, but sometimes it does) is about what my friend said, and that's....why he dated an Asian. What he said reminds me of what is happening right now with the girl I currently like, and another problem adds into it. I don't know how to work that out.
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